So much advice !

Don’t tell anyone you are pregnant until the first trimester has passed..

“Your skin is going to break out … You can’t eat sushi … Don’t eat oranges or drink orange juice … Don’t eat ice … Don’t sleep too much … Don’t wear high heels …You need to take it easy and stay home until the baby is born … Don’t wear this, wear that instead … You need to gain at least 12kgs … If your belly itches, don’t scratch … Expect the ugly nose …”

So much advice …

Don’t get me wrong. I am sure that everyone who ever gave me a piece of advice about my pregnancy meant well. I do appreciate the advice but it can get overwhelming.
As a first time mom, there are a lot of things I do not know about pregnancy and being a mother. I rely on other people’s experience’s to gain knowledge about this journey. I still cannot tell you if that has been a great decision or not.
There are people who have definitely given me some valuable advice but I’ve also noticed just how negative some of the advice can be. This is scary because I do not know the truth from an old wives tale and I cannot always call my doctor to verify everything. I would need to call him so often that he’ll start blocking my calls. Google has helped a little but can sometimes give you contradicting answers.

So what‘s a new mom to do?

I don’t want to harm my baby but I also don’t want to walk on eggshells for 9 months. Does motherly instinct kick in while you pregnant?

As soon as people found out I was pregnant, almost everyone had advice for me and as much as I appreciated the advice, it quickly got too confusing and I had to block out a lot and start doing what felt right.

Again, I am not saying that I never took any of the advice I was given or that people shouldn’t give advice to pregnant women. I do think that people need to be a bit more sensitive and let the pregnancy unfold and allow the pregnant Mom to experience it in her own way. Every pregnancy is unique.
Most people mean well when they give you advice but some end up scaring the life out of you. Don’t get me started on those who are just out to tell you how miserable your life is going to be now that you are pregnant.

I made a decision long before I fell pregnant that I would have the most incredible pregnancy. I made a choice to be happy, healthy and fabulous.
I have encountered a few complications during my pregnancy but I always knew deep down in my heart that they were little challenges that didn’t have to define the mood of pregnancy.

My pregnancy is about the miracle of life. Can you imagine what it would have been like for me if I started off expecting to have the worst experience? I am not disregarding the hardships that some women go through when they are pregnant or the very real challenges faced by some women during pregnancy.

I believe that pregnancy, for the most part, is an incredible experience. Enjoy every moment of this amazing journey. Do what feels right and focus on the positive.

If you want to share your pregnancy experience or give advice, focus on the positive and add to the joy of the new Mom.

10 Comments, RSS

  1. nolu836@gmail.com'

    Nolufefe June 9, 2015 @ 12:22 pm

    OMG i can relate to your experience. Im a first time mommy to be and it has become a little annoying as to how much advice or precautions some people have. Now many times i have caught my self caught up in their beliefs. Ive always had a big nose and this one night when ‘daddy to be” and i went for a movie the lady at the movie ticket said ”you having a boy, i can see by the size of your nose’ I found this abit confusing as this lady only saw me once or twice before I was pregnant and could now tell that my nose was getting bigger. I went for an ultrasound and we expecting a baby girl. Imagine if I took everything, everyone has to say about pregnancy serious. I have now learnt to enjoy “MY” pregnancy one day at a time and cherish evey change to my body.

    • mawenz@hotmail.com'

      Siphesihle June 10, 2015 @ 9:05 am

      omg I can relate, some are just plain superstitious, and some just scare the hell out of you. I am also a first time mom and I cannot tell you how I have been yearning for this and in Gods time my baby is coming:-). People do mean well but end up just upsetting and scaring you. my latest frustration was if I should relax my hair or not, I did early on in the pregnancy twice only because my doctor said its ok and I googled to find out that the relaxer(I use doctor miracles no lye relaxer) I was using was safe, a friend of mine freaked recently and asked if its safe, now she got me all freaked and worried so I have just decided I will put on a weave till I deliver because stressing I do not need, caused me a lot of anxiety and this is a happy positive time so I need to remove all stress. I also had a friend who relaxed throughout her pregnancy and she and baby are fine. But for my sake I decided I will just put on a weave, for my sanity.

      if I may ask, which exercises do you do? I have always been a person who loves and goes to Gym but since being pregnant I stopped but now feel since i am far along I can start,its safe to do so and I know carrying on to exercise is good for me and baby 🙂 If you can please email the exercises to me. thanks.

      • kbdria5v6@outlook.com'

        Mimoun July 10, 2015 @ 4:12 am

        I would say-Sleep when the baby sleeps. Everyone told me that and I never did and I sufrefed for it. Its not worth it. Your brain doesnt work properly when you are exhausted and you will be stress instead. Your baby won’t know if the dishes aren’t done!Also-breastfeeding hurts! dont let anyone tell you it doesn’t. It hurts for a while until everything toughens up and then it will be pain free. I nursed all 5 of my kids and loved it! but it hurt for two weeks every time I started again. So worth it!

  2. nobakhem@gmail.com'

    Nobakhe June 22, 2015 @ 8:38 am

    Hi Zinhle

    Your blog is inspiring and I have always loved your work. Well-done 🙂

    Keep on being positive and doing what you love and remember that life is too short to worry about things that you cannot change.

    When I was pregnant 5 years ago I couldn’t take everyone advise so I google a lot and unfortunately I also didn’t have my mom to ask things from and everyone else just seemed to be negative since they believe that pregnancy is only meant for married people. I was 22years old by that time.

    Through my google struggles I bumped into a site called BabyCenter ,ohhh my the site just changed my life I was so hooked every week they would update me about my baby position in the tummy ,what to expect and I can say 8/10 times everything that they said was exactly what was happening in my tummy 🙂 maybe it was just my belief I will never know.

    At that time I was based in Bloem and boyfriend was in Cape Town so the distance didn’t always make it possible for him to show all the support especially when I got so big that I couldn’t even bend over to wear my shoes. I survived and am still a strong mom.

    I will follow your Moments every week .Enjoy your pregnancy Doll.

    Lots of Love.

  3. carmenmbub@hotmial.com'

    breastfeedbub June 4, 2016 @ 9:11 am

    this one’s nice.

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