“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”. These are not my words, they are words by Alan Watts, but they might as well be my words as they apply perfectly to the events that have been taking place in my life since the day Nomndeni, my best friend, caught me peeing onto a pregnancy test stick to confirm what my body had been hinting.
She walked in and said, “I could tell you were trying to hide something but I know you are pregnant because the other day I spilled milk”. Let me explain, the spilling of milk is considered to be a sign that someone in your family or someone close to you is pregnant. Nomndeni didn’t even bother to look at the results on the stick, she was sure I was pregnant. Maybe it was her way of communicating with the universe since she knew how much my boyfriend and I wanted to conceive.
There it was, a faint cross, not clear at all. They need to make these pregnancy test results clearer … okay … maybe mine was the cheapest on the market … don’t judge! The cross meant I was pregnant but I still didn’t believe it, not until the bathroom party got bigger. Lwandle, Nomndeni’s 5 year old son walked in, looked at the stick and asked “What?.. its just a cross”. At that moment, I knew I was pregnant but I had no idea of what lay ahead.
I had to tell my boyfriend who was out of the country at the time. I couldn’t wait till he got back, so I took a picture of the stick and sent it to him. He, as many men would, responded with, “What does this mean?”. After announcing that our lives were going to change forever, with the simple words, “It means we are pregnant”, he lovingly asked me if I was scared. I responded, “Yes, but I am also happy, you?”.
He responded, “I am scared too. I love you and I wouldn’t do this with anybody else but you. I still would have preferred if you told me face to face”.
After that night, we were thrown into the deepest end of the change pool and we’ve had to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance.
MOMents by DJ Zinhle is my open diary. I have gone through so much in the past few months that I have to share. This will also serve as a long letter to my unborn child … a letter about love, strength, support, change, sacrifice, confusion, learning, laughter, family… the list goes on and on.
This is about my life experiences … hope you will learn and be inspired by my moments.