Growing up, I often wondered what type of woman I would become.
I remember though, that my biggest challenge then, was just being able to afford my own chocolate. I always imagined having an endless supply of chocolates or just living in a chocolate factory … Life was bliss!!!
Never, on any given day would I have thought that I would play such a critical role in the dialogue of the brand “woman”
I have accepted this role and championed on with an agenda to be a positive role model and an inspiration for what is possible for a young girl, anywhere in the world.
I have grown to understand the power of the female brand. Our ability to be strong and vulnerable at the same time, raise men who can affect world change, stand behind champions and also be able to take on champion roles. God took his time when he created a woman and the world knows our power.
I have met many women from many different backgrounds. Strong women, weak women, abused women, vulnerable, broke, insecure, helpless, confused and have heard many horrid stories of their challenges. Never at any point did I think I would be part of that story.
I have recently been confronted with a situation that forced me to think really hard about the kind of woman that I want to become and the kind of legacy I want to leave behind …
A week before our daughter was born, I found out about an affair between Kiernan (the father of my child) and Bonang Matheba. I also received confirmation of all rumours through an honest conversation which I had with Kiernan, who confirmed that the affair had been going on for over 5 months.
I will always respect him for his honesty.
I have dealt with this and found peace with his choice.
After the release of our first statement regarding the separation I felt that there was no need to go into details about the reasons, however, after the continued public display of Kiernan and Bonang’s relationship as well as the commentary surrounding it, it has become important for me to affirm my power as a woman, my strength of character, my continued focus on my work and my commitment to being a positive role model.
Never have I understood the challenges confronted by those women I delivered elaborate speeches to without fully understanding their pain. That being said, after a long period of introspection, I would still say what I have always said to every woman who has come to me with their challenges and pain.
“A strong woman understands that the gifts such as logic, decisiveness, and strength are just as important as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts.”
I stand firm in my decision to support Kiernan in his role as a father to my chid and a member of my extended family.
As I transition into a new phase of my life, navigating motherhood, work, family and friends, I want to look back at this moment and be proud of the choices I made as a role model not only for any woman going through a hard time, but for my little Kairo, who I hope will pull strength and find courage to choose herself and trust in her own power.
Zinhle Jiyane (DJ Zinhle)