Don’t Apologise For Who You Are

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There are many things that I thought I knew for sure when I was young girl. I thought I knew what was best for me despite what my parents were telling me. I thought I knew it all and no one could tell me anything. Looking back, I feel embarrassed by half of the things I believed. Some of these thing where not completely wrong, but maybe the way in which I interpreted them, was wrong.

As I grew up, going through tertiary, relationships, friendships, starting a business and encountering numerous other events in my life, things have changed. Many of my beliefs have shifted. The thing about growing up is that as you grow and as life throws you between sadness and joy, between pain and healing, your mind starts opening up. It’s called experience.

I have been subjected to a lot of criticism ever since I fell pregnant. People seem to think that they know what is best for me and if I do not agree then I am seen as a bad mom and a horrible person.

I have had to grow a tough skin and stand up for what I believe in. I am growing and learning and yes, I will make mistakes, we all do, but I have made a list of the things I will not apologise for.

I will not apologise for having dreams and pursuing them despite people thinking that just because I am a mom, I shouldn’t work hard.

I will not apologise for loving and raising Kairo the best way I can. My hopes and dreams for her are beautiful and are from a place of love. I might not always do things in a way which people agree with, but my intentions are always to make sure she has the best life.

I will not apologise for being beautiful and taking care of my body, even after having a baby, because who said beauty was reserved for those who are not mothers?

I will not apologise for the things that make me happy. I will always follow my heart, we all deserve happiness. My promise is that I will not hurt anyone intentionally or steal anyone’s joy.

I will not apologise for my body. This is who I am and anyone who cannot accept me and love me for who I am is not deserving of my time.

I will not apologise for demanding the best from love because anyone who loves me half heartedly does not deserves the honor of carrying my heart in their hands.

I will not apologise for my hair, the car I drive and the clothes I wear because that is what I can afford and I refuse to live above my means just to impress people I have never even met.

I will not apologise for believing in respect and good values because even though being a good person can be interpreted as boring, I trust that there is good in all of us and we shouldn’t be afraid to show it.

I will not apologise for my past and the decisions I made because they made me who I am and I wouldn’t want to be anyone else or anything else.

I will not apologise for my upbringing because if shaped the strong woman that I am today, Kairo’s mom, the kind and compassionate person who knows that she is not perfect and will never be perfect but will always be her best and show kindness to others.

I will not apologise for who I am.

We have all been judged at some point in our lives and most people who do the judging fail to realise that we are all on a different path. One person’s ways are not the way of the world. Sometimes people fail to realise that they don’t even have enough experience in a specific subject to even offer  advice or judge.

We all need help and guidance but none of us deserve to be judged for who we are. I believe in being a good person who cares about others but I do not believe in compromising yourself, your dreams and your beliefs to impress others.

Share with me what you will not apologise for.

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53 Comments, RSS

  1. lisathande@gmail.com'

    Lisa November 23, 2015 @ 10:45 am

    every time I read your blog I swear i’m always in tears but mostly inspired. I will not apologize for being different, for being an amazing work in progress and a late bloomer *hides* . love you Z

    • irebaona@gmail.com'

      Reba November 24, 2015 @ 4:10 am

      I will not apologise for the clothes I wear nor the way I am, my parents have raised me to become a fine young lady and yes I have my flaws and all but they are what shape me I am only 19 and will make mistakes but what I learn from those mistakes is what counts …. Thank you mama ka K☺

  2. magwazanokulunga@gmail.com'

    nokulunga November 27, 2015 @ 3:43 pm

    I will not apologise for trying to give myself the world without my parents help or any man.
    I will not apologise for working part time and studying full time, im not greedy im just teaching myself a lil responsibility.

  3. carmz_cie@yahoo.com'

    Carmen November 27, 2015 @ 10:13 pm

    I will not apologise for my stutter
    I will not apologise for being nerdy
    I will not apologise for giving up certain friendships and relationships to live my dream
    I will not apologise for loving too much…even to the point of a broken heart
    I will not apologise for my crooked smile
    I will not apologise for not drinking,staying home and keeping to myself
    I will not apologise for being a born again backsliding Christian.I am on the path to better
    I will not apologise for being me.

    Thank you lady Z.You rock my world

  4. reception@mccormick-property.co.za'

    jocelyn December 4, 2015 @ 10:29 am

    I will not apologise for being a mother at 17, its made me wise, strong and stead fast for my kids future.
    I will not apologise for having 3 kids with the same man and that continues to hold my hand as we create a beautiful home for our family, to alot of people I’ve seemed to cross some unspoken boundary, but, to me its the poorest and realist form of love from our creater.
    I will not apologise for not living the lavish and extravagant lifestyle that society, particularly family expects you to live “considering the man that you have is STILL at your side” his with me because he wants to be with me, his with me because I want him to be with me the moments when I shared one plate of food with hubby were the best moments of our relationship, it has taught our kids the greatest lessons; “appreciation and respect”. I will not apologise for being naive its my protection mechanism against buyest and fake people of this world and I LOVE NOT being part of the ‘make believe world’.
    I will not apologise for my parents spoiling our kids they don’t do it to compete, they do it because the greatest joy in life are grand kids.

    Why do we find ourselves living with these long lists of apologies for insecurities created by others?
    And I have found myself doing this for the greatest moments in my life.
    The painful part of it all is that these all belong to our family.
    sad but oh so true.

  5. sinetisiwe.duba@yahoo.com'

    sne April 12, 2016 @ 10:52 am

    I will not apologize for being me
    I will not apologize for the bad and good choices i made
    I will not apologize for the pain i am going through right now
    I will not apologize for loving whole heatedly and be hurt in return
    I will not apologize for the beautiful being that i am.
    I will not apologize for being me:)

    Thank you DJ Z you so amazing,you such a firm woman you know how to hold it together.
    God Bless you and you baby K.

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