Don’t Apologise For Who You Are

There are many things that I thought I knew for sure when I was young girl. I thought I knew what was best for me despite what my parents were telling me. I thought I knew it all and no one could tell me anything. Looking back, I feel embarrassed by half of the things I believed. Some of these thing where not completely wrong, but maybe the way in which I interpreted them, was wrong.

As I grew up, going through tertiary, relationships, friendships, starting a business and encountering numerous other events in my life, things have changed. Many of my beliefs have shifted. The thing about growing up is that as you grow and as life throws you between sadness and joy, between pain and healing, your mind starts opening up. It’s called experience.

I have been subjected to a lot of criticism ever since I fell pregnant. People seem to think that they know what is best for me and if I do not agree then I am seen as a bad mom and a horrible person.

I have had to grow a tough skin and stand up for what I believe in. I am growing and learning and yes, I will make mistakes, we all do, but I have made a list of the things I will not apologise for.

I will not apologise for having dreams and pursuing them despite people thinking that just because I am a mom, I shouldn’t work hard.

I will not apologise for loving and raising Kairo the best way I can. My hopes and dreams for her are beautiful and are from a place of love. I might not always do things in a way which people agree with, but my intentions are always to make sure she has the best life.

I will not apologise for being beautiful and taking care of my body, even after having a baby, because who said beauty was reserved for those who are not mothers?

I will not apologise for the things that make me happy. I will always follow my heart, we all deserve happiness. My promise is that I will not hurt anyone intentionally or steal anyone’s joy.

I will not apologise for my body. This is who I am and anyone who cannot accept me and love me for who I am is not deserving of my time.

I will not apologise for demanding the best from love because anyone who loves me half heartedly does not deserves the honor of carrying my heart in their hands.

I will not apologise for my hair, the car I drive and the clothes I wear because that is what I can afford and I refuse to live above my means just to impress people I have never even met.

I will not apologise for believing in respect and good values because even though being a good person can be interpreted as boring, I trust that there is good in all of us and we shouldn’t be afraid to show it.

I will not apologise for my past and the decisions I made because they made me who I am and I wouldn’t want to be anyone else or anything else.

I will not apologise for my upbringing because if shaped the strong woman that I am today, Kairo’s mom, the kind and compassionate person who knows that she is not perfect and will never be perfect but will always be her best and show kindness to others.

I will not apologise for who I am.

We have all been judged at some point in our lives and most people who do the judging fail to realise that we are all on a different path. One person’s ways are not the way of the world. Sometimes people fail to realise that they don’t even have enough experience in a specific subject to even offer  advice or judge.

We all need help and guidance but none of us deserve to be judged for who we are. I believe in being a good person who cares about others but I do not believe in compromising yourself, your dreams and your beliefs to impress others.

Share with me what you will not apologise for.

53 Comments, RSS


    nqaba malala November 20, 2015 @ 2:06 pm

    my sister let the haters talk because thats just about all they do talk without action just always remember Jesus Christ is Lord and your duty is to gaze upon Him who is the champion and the initiator of your faith in Christ Jesus stay and keep rocking with your inward strength, outward unavoidable beauty and your consistant incredibility of being Heronee to kairo


    MrsR November 20, 2015 @ 4:34 pm

    I’ve never been a people pleaser myself so whatever goes on in my life that makes people talk or unhappy even the closest of family members I’ve never been bothered.


    Anele Maphumulo November 20, 2015 @ 5:41 pm

    Great post sis’Zinhle.I refuse to apologize for being a strong young lady who works extremely hard and knows that she is the CEO of her life.I know I’m in control of my life and I can either choose to be a failure or successful.I chose and I constantly choose to be successful and victorious.I will not apologize for being beautiful a
    and comfortable in my own skin.I also refuse to apologize for being the best person I can be and trying to be better everyday.I will not apologize for being a good friend,twin sister,daughter and sibling.And lastly I will not apologize for acknowledging that GOD has led me to success and has been my guide,protector,saviour and my comforter.


    Zinhle Windvoel November 21, 2015 @ 11:43 am

    I will never apologise for being ambitious and intelligent. For being blessed enough to have a great family and great of friends who care and love me. Most of all, I’ll never apologise for being true to who I am and having standards.. it’s either people keep up, step up or they can easily leave my life 🙂


    NOMTHANDAZO XULU November 22, 2015 @ 10:39 am

    I will not apologize for being the person I am, the things I do and love, my body and anything of that nature.
    I am a good person and I won’t waste time trying to prove it.
    I have wasted too much of my time trying to fit in and please people. I don’t mind constructive criticism it will grow me to the incredible woman I aspire to be.However I will not apologize for the things I cannot change.
    Thanks DJ ZINHLE for this post. KAIRO is blessed to have a mother like you.

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