Nomndeni and I have been friends for 16 years. Our friendship has lasted this long for many reasons but I’m convinced that our willingness to be honest with ourselves and with the each other has helped strengthen our relationship.
When I was in high school it used to disturb me how much competition there was amongst girls. Girls would compete with their best friends and I didn’t like that, so I remember making the decision that I w0uld never be in a friendship where competing with each other was okay or normal. In fact I don’t wanna compete with anyone especially my friends.
I am one of those people who believe that we are all on different journeys, I therefore don’t see a point of competing with anyone. My problem with competing with people for what they have or don’t have, is that you end up lying to yourself and others about who you are and what you have. This has become worse with the rise of social media. People are living beyond their means, lying about who they are and what they have just to portray a certain image on social media.
I am real with myself, but when I do find that I am lying to myself at any point, I am quickly reminded of reality by my friends and family. I’ve been very lucky to have people in my life who are honest with me, who will tell me the truth and I also happen to be someone who cannot lie to myself.
We are all on a journey and when you analyse all the goals that we have you come to the realization that we are all chasing after happiness. I personally think that the first point of happiness is accepting yourself for who you are, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and loving yourself exactly the way you are. I don’t think you can find happiness if you are lying to yourself about who you are.
Self acceptance is one of the most crucial things yet it is one of the most neglected aspects of our lives. We are taught by society that it is not okay to be who we are, we are taught that we need to be something else or we need to fit into a certain description in order to be accepted.
I have been teased and criticized for a lot of things including the way I look, but I had to get to a point where what people thought about me didn’t matter more than what I thought of myself. The strongest opinion about me is my own opinion and it’s an honest opinion. I am happy with who I am, I am happy about what I have achieved and more excited about what lies ahead. I know what I’m capable of and I am not bothered by what the next person has.
I am happy for people who are successful and I’m inspired buy them but I will not allow myself or society to put me up against them. I believe in my journey, I believe in myself and I strive to live my truth everyday. I refuse to be something I’m not just to impress people who don’t even know me well enough to make an honest judgement. I refuse to change my plans just to keep up with someone else’s success. I refuse to neglect my own happiness by focusing on other people’s happiness.
Nomndeni and I speak a lot, we speak about the things we want to achieve. We inspire each other and as close as we are, we are still on different journeys. Not even once have I ever felt intimidated or slowed down by Nomndeni’s achievements and success. Our success is personal and it has nothing to do with someone else, we are always amazed by people who want to “punish” others with their success. Success at work, in love and anything else should be for yourself, and not about anyone else.
Do not let people change your direction, don’t let people tell you what success is for you. Success should be something that you want for yourself not what others want for you, it should be personal and honest.
Be real with yourself, be true to who you are, you are ALL it takes …