What is Happiness ?

I have been through a lot in my life recently and this has forced me to experience and deal with my emotions and energies on a higher level than usual. Loss, being a mom, business, friendships and love have been heightened in my life recently, pushing me from emotional pillar to post.

I am a planner and I am not sure if this can ever apply to emotions, but I do believe that there is a level of control one can exercise over their feelings. I could be wrong, but stay with me. Yesterday, I was sitting at the office talking to Nomndeni about life and as always the conversation became about happiness. This is a subject that we have been exploring in deeper lengths recently. We have made the decision to pursue happiness and this has lead to daily conversation about happiness, whether it’s our own or somebody else’s.

Yesterday I had a big “moment” and that is why I have decided to share it with you. We have been reading books, listening to motivational talks and testimonials on YouTube and deeply engaging in this topic about happiness.

So, what is happiness? How does one acquire it? How does it feel? Is true happiness free or is it something you buy? What makes us truly happy? There are so many questions I have been asking myself about this much sought after topic.

There are so many things that give me complete joy. Hearing Kairo laugh, meeting a happy ERAbyDJZinhle customer, eating chocolate, listening to music, sleeping and holding on to someone I love. Oh what a great feeling it is to experience happiness.


There are situations in life that pull you to the opposite direction of happiness and staying happy and positive becomes a challenge. We all have our battles, things that challenge us and cause us great pain.

In one of our conversations, an interesting idea about being a “full cup” came up. So, being a “full cup” means that one has to be complete on their own, they need to be happy and fully satisfied with themselves and their lives. When you are a “full cup”, you are sufficient and anyone or anything that comes into your life makes the cup overflow. Should that thing be taken away or should that person leave, you cup needs to remain full.

This concept supports what my view on happiness is. I believe that happiness is an inside job. I had heard this so many times before but I never quite understood it. Well, now I do.

A person’s happiness is their own doing, one cannot let things, people or events control their happiness. I do not deny that there will be challenging events in life that cause you great pain and discomfort but you need to be so in tune with your happiness rhythm that you know how to navigate through life’s challenges and maintain your happiness.

The goal must always be to be happy. I get sad, I cry but in every moment I am thinking about how I can get back to that place of happiness again. The problem with most people is that they get comfortable in their pain. It’s okay to hurt but it’s not okay to dwell on it.

Happiness is an everyday job; it should always be in your hands. People are worried about their own happiness, don’t burden them with the responsibility for your happiness. If you rely on someone else to make you happy, you will always be second best to themselves.

Stop relying on external events, things, people or the future to make you happy. Look around, what are you grateful for right now. Say thank you and be happy for how far you have come, you are still alive and you have everything it takes to be a “full cup”.

Be so happy by yourself that anything or anyone becomes an extra, not a need.

Please share your thoughts on happiness in the comments below.

“This is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it”

38 Comments, RSS

  1. machifezeka@gmail.com'

    Fezeka February 22, 2016 @ 3:44 pm

    Happiness is LOVE

    • Julieta.tabane@gmail.com'

      Julieta tabane March 13, 2016 @ 1:34 am

      Amen. I am truly inspired. First time visitor, hooked for life. Lady God will bless you.SA has ur back

  2. josephmelissa3@gmail.com'

    Mel February 23, 2016 @ 9:30 am

    Good morning
    after reading this, i realise that yes, happiness is up to me and not anyone else. nobody will make me happy the way that i can.
    i have been hurt, trampled on and made to feel small. i would cry and feel depressed.
    after reading this, i have decided that NO MORE! its all about me now and what makes me happy.
    i am done feeling bad for other people and their negativity and bad attitude.

    thank you Zinhle!

  3. zimcara@gmail.com'

    Zinhle Buthelezi March 4, 2016 @ 3:11 am

    Lately I hardly sleep yet I am pregnant, I turn to think a lot about what am I going to do , how am i going to take care of my Kids and it seems like my world has just stopped , things are not working out the way they suppose to be but after reading ur article you have just revive my spirit. I have so many things that makes my cup overflow .

    1 being a mother is the greatest blessing from God Almighty
    2 facing trials is what makes me grow
    3 all I have to do is to dust myself up and walk tall and
    be still and know that He is God and let Him take charge of my life,trust Him completely with whatever I am facing right now

    My cup is now overflowing already with Happiness. …………….woooooray!

    Thank you so much DjZinhle for sharing xxxxxxxxxxxx love n respect

  4. leshiiolesitse@gmail.com'

    lesego April 12, 2016 @ 9:35 am

    This is exactly what I needed to read. No one owes my happiness but me.

    I have so much respect for you mama K. IV never seen a woman so humble, so down to earth and full of respect like you. God bless you. You are such an inspiration, you may not it but you are. Even across borders. Such a breath of fresh air.


  5. lijeng.lefosa@gmail.com'

    Lijeng Lefosa May 5, 2016 @ 4:57 pm

    Just what I needed to remind myself that I deserve to be happy!! This is profound, thank you ZInhle!!! Here’s to being a full cup!!! :*

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