Building Self-Esteem that Works – Part 1

Yesterday we featured Nokubonga Mbanga as our MomentsByDjZinhe WCW and today we welcome Bongi as a weekly contributor on the Blog. Bongi is a Leadership Coach who’s passion lies in helping people discover their potential and explore new pathways to success.

She worked with me on the TV show, “It Takes A Village”, to help young women rid themselves of their own demons, live their best lives and in turn make a difference in their community. “It Takes A Village with DJ Zinhle”, is a a show that is committed to making a difference in the lives of young women in South Africa.

In parts 1-3 of this series Bongi will discuss low self-esteem as well as share her ideas and tried and tested techniques around building self-esteem.

Building Self-Esteem that Works – Part 1

Nokubonga Mbanga

I feel that I am not good enough; I don’t deserve this and that… I am not worthy of love, a career, income, etc.

This is a consistent internal dialogue that you experience when you are living with low self -esteem. You are never enough period!!!

When you have made a mistake, it feels like you deserved to be punished or humiliated somehow for the rest of your life. How do I know this? I have lived with this dialogue …Low self-esteem can be very destructive because it controls how you think & feel about you and the world/your environment. This impacts the behaviour that you then employ as a result of the perception you have about yourself. You can imagine the outcome of the thoughts, feelings and then actions as a result of a poor opinion you have about yourself. DEVASTATINGLY NEGATIVE!!!

At the core of poor self esteem is a negative self-belief pattern that has been nurtured over the years that YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. As a child you arrive in this world enough, you have everything you need until one day you learn from parents, society, media, other children that you are not enough. You start to embrace these external messages that you are not perfect, you are not tall enough, you don’t have the right face, body shape, you are not clever like your sister, etc. The sad reality is that you start believing all these messages that were never created by you in the first place. YOU OWN THEM.

How can we turn them around, how can you then live authentically with a healthy self-esteem?

In part 2 and 3 of this series of blogs, we will look at 10 techniques for building self-esteem.  I have practiced these techniques myself and have used them with my clients over the years and they have worked and stood the test of time.

In part 2, I will share the first 5 techniques that I have practiced, with myself and with my clients, over the years, which have stood the test of time.

Why not you, why not me? Its time to fill up your cup with a healthy self-esteem mindset


I would like to encourage you to go back to our old blogs as I find that the lessons and advice shared on those posts is still powerful and relevant.  I would like to challenge you to always share a post after you’ve read it. The idea is to touch and help as many people as possible.

Thank you,


4 Comments, RSS


    Bonny April 12, 2018 @ 10:46 am

    Wow,very mindful…… one thing i know that every girl needs to boost up her self esteem is knowing that she is beautiful,can u please Zee share the makeup tips,whats trending? Dos and Donts,Hairstyle tips……Please #HugsForKairo#


    Royale Beauty Boutique April 12, 2018 @ 1:08 pm

    Thank you I cannot wait learn and apply your techniques on this beautiful 3 part series on building my self esteem.Looking forward to more of these beautiful reads on your blog.


    Thulisa Rubu April 17, 2018 @ 10:10 am

    I was a huge fan of “It takes a village”. I believe both of you ladies did an exceptional job on that show, not only were you helping those 12 young women but you also helped women whom were watching at home. Thank you !

    I cannot wait to learn, apply, share these techniques!

    Light, Peace and Love upon you Ladies and the readers at large!


    Nonhlanhla Malinga April 18, 2018 @ 3:00 pm

    Wow love it, you know for the past few years I’ve been struggling with myself esteem.I didn’t trust myself in anything I do I used to ask for a second opinion if its good enough. I can say I am starting to improve there and there, I guess I need more of this.

    Thank you….

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